You would have thought that all this free time in lockdown would be perfect for a writer, especially one living alone. I have been working on my first novel since 2017. In fact my New Year’s resolution was to get it published this year. I did create version seven of my story in January and started utilising all the knowledge I had garnered from various writing courses and workshops over the years. My head was filled with ideas to increase the word count and improve the story line by inserting new scenes that would reveal more depths of the main characters.
Then COVID-19 hit the world stage. The first consequence for me was that my much anticipated and epic trip to Patagonia was stopped in its tracks. My country, Trinidad & Tobago (T&T), announced its first case of the Coronavirus on March 12th, my birthday. I celebrated with family at a fine-dining restaurant and casually noted that this would be our last meal out before lockdown. It was.
As the count of positive cases increased almost daily, my anxiety rose. The tour operator cancelled the flights for our group of twenty persons. We were due to be in Argentina on March 18th. It was a good thing we did not travel a week earlier, when virtually no cases were recorded in South America, because we would now be stuck there, at least until our country allowed us back in. T&T was quick to shut its borders, even to nationals, thus saving our country from the worst ravages of the virus.
My life was now a monotonous routine of domestic chores, enlivened with video games, TV, Zoom and WhatsApp chats, online yoga and online Bridge. No other human being entered my apartment for ten weeks. When allowed, I walked around my neighbourhood, alone at first, then with my sister, both of us wearing masks. Restrictions gradually eased as the ‘curve’ flattened, but still no fun things, like going to the beach, to a bar, to the cinema, to a concert, to a party.
I did force myself to accomplish some long put-off chores, like clearing out my old files in and on top of my desk. I think I threw out about five garbage bags of paper. I felt good about this. But other chores still remained, and my writing. I consoled myself that I was still writing since I posted a few articles about the Coronavirus in T&T on my blog www.trinisue.com. I also just finished a forty day journal which was inspired by a yoga newsletter. That’s writing, right?
What I was missing was real creative inspiration! That urge to write that used to consume me in the early days. The days when I felt most alive with the words flowing so effortlessly, and so carelessly. I couldn’t imagine that writer’s block was real. It’s not that I am short of ideas. I have several books waiting to come out of me. I just don’t feel like creating. This applies to my art and music playing as well. Nothing, nada, nil.
Is it that creativity cannot come out of boredom, humdrum, monotony? You hear of writers secluding themselves in a mountain cabin, surrounded by majestic scenery and clean air. Then they suffer this writer’s block. Maybe the best writing comes out of a chaotic life full of adrenaline, trauma, even madness, not peace and quiet. What is the experience of other writers?
The other thing that is disturbing my writing is that my story is set in the near future. How on earth can I now present a book about a future that cannot yet be envisaged? Every story told by anyone from now on has to be set in pre-pandemic, during pandemic, or post-pandemic times. Worse, my novel is set against a background of race riots in England, i.e., skinheads attacking Asians. Now that the Black Lives Matter movement is sweeping the world, and already dramatic changes to legislation, statues, and acceptable norms are making the future quite different for many people, how can I predict whether my scenario can possibly happen in the near future? I think I will just have to shelve my story until things settle down. What a year 2020 has been and it’s only half done.
I feel better now, getting this off my chest. Is this creative writing starting? Maybe my mood has improved because the beaches were opened today! Keep safe, everyone.
